I'm very insecure, I'm very fickle minded all the time, i have low self-esteem, i have no confident in myself at all, i rather stay at home then go out, when i walk i look down because I'm afraid to make eye contact with strangers, I'm very bad with socialising with people i just know, i don't know how to start a conversation, i have a very bad body posture because i tend to slouch alot, the only people that understands me is my mom, dad, 2 sisters and my 2 girl friends because since that day i finally come to a realisation that the only man i can trust in this world is my dad.

Everybody's laughing in my mind

Rumors spreading about this other girl

Do you do what you did what you did with me?

Does she love you the way I can?

Did you forget all the plans that you made with me?

Cause baby I didn't

That should be me holding your hand

That should be me making you laugh

That should be me this is so sad

That should be me

That should be me

That should be me feeling your kiss

That should be me buying you gifts

This is so wrong

I can't go on

'Till you believe

That that should be me

That should be me

You said you needed a little time from my mistakes

It's funny how you used that time to have me replaced

Did you think that I wouldn't see you out at the movies?

What you doin' to me

You're taking her where we used to go

Now if you're trying to break my heart

It's working cause you know

That that should be me holding your hand

That should be me making you laugh

That should be me this is so sad

That should be me

That should be me

That should be me feeling your kiss

That should be me buying you gifts

This is so wrong I can't go on

'Till you believe

That should be me

I need to know should I fight for love

Or disarm

It's getting harder to shield

This pain is my heart

Ooh Ooh

That should be me holding your hand
That should be me making you laugh
That should be me this is so sad
That should be me
That should be me
That should be me feeling your kiss
That should be me buying you gifts
This is so wrong
I can't go on
'Till you believe
That that should be me

Holding your hand
That should be me
The one making you laugh (oh baby oh)
That should be me
That should be me
Giving you flowers
That should be me
Talking for hours
That should be me (that should be me)
That should be me
That should be me
Never should've let you go
I never should've let you go
That should be me
I never shoulda let you go
That should be me

Let's see it's 2.53am and i'm bored ZzzzZzZzZZz

Anyways tomorrow morning i'm going to have breakfast with mom and sis, PANCAKES! and go for dance after that. I still don't get it why training starts at 12 freaking pm in the afternoon till 4pm, that's when the sun really shines brightly oh god save us all.

Oh yah! anw, on thursday i ended dance around 10pm and afiq suddenly text for a movie. The initial plan was to catch breaking dawn but since i already watch it we catch "New Year's Eve" it was so-so i must say, it's quite boring during the start and i did start to fall asleep mind you it's midnight movie for god sake! but after awhile it's starts getting better and funnier so i guess it was good! next movie to catch is puss in the boots, hopefully! k nightzz xoxo

I feel like saying a thousands and one things but no, behave. Sigh as days goes by it gets harder and you pray that God will help you thru and hope for a miracle to happen....

5min break again, tired yknow keep on drawing sigh sigh. i'm close to done but need to touch up some of my works sigh sigh k 5mins up. Let's do this! leggo!

i'm pretty tired of assignments actually, so taking a break and blog! Sigh sigh i want to blog more but me no taimez. Nevertheless can't wait for 30th November 3pm! i'll be free from school well for a month at least and sleep to my heart desire!

December's coming soon, it's Christmas! lights along Orchard road should be stunning! at the same time it's going to be a busy month (every month also busy, sigh) dance would be like thrice a week and also preparation for countdown performance(EXCITED!!!) hmm other than that i would be busy with school camps (if selected) and work!!!!! homygoodness working for events on the weekends. That means i'm left with just few days to rest boooo. Oh yah! Breaking Dawn is out tmr! my sis is gg because her friend bought the premiere tickets for $36 each! my goodness crazy but if anyone willing to buy for me the tickets i'll be more than happy hehe. okayzzz got to finish up my work zzzzz wish me luck for my exam next mon and tue! xoxo

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, so the plan was actually to update about my trip but seriously I'm too lazy to upload the pictures. 880 pictures, well that's not alot but choosing and browsing them one by one is quite tiring. I've decided to explain it in theory if you can say that, if you find this to boring you may kindly leave.

Food:

We woke around 6am(Vietnam) Singapore would be 7am, and had breakfast. We had our meals for 2 weeks at the hotel because in Vietnam it's quite difficult to find halal food. Thankfully Melia Hotel is the only hotel in Hanoi that have halal food. The food was spectacular, you might think that 2weeks? hotel food? same old stuff? but no, we had different food everyday from Indonesian to Western to Japanese you name it they have it and the best thing, it's all room service but of course our parents cook up some Singapore food. Hey even though it was just 2 weeks we did miss our homies back home.

Shopping:

You could say that everything there is cheap, they have alot of imitations goods but there are some local store that sell clothes that are quite nice. The bargain there for my mum was the fabrics. I almost bought some velvet, because i really wanted to sew a dress out of it but my mum rejected my idea, boo. For some souvenirs we walk around to find stuff that look good to give our family and friends back home. We miss our homies back home very much.Then we went to the store name "METRO" it's almost like Giant except that if you want to enter you need a card that takes almost days to approve, thankfully my cousin has already apply for it and we could enter. That's were we bought our chips, candies, and seafood! OMG their seafood there is so cheap and big. Sad to say but during the whole trip the only thing i bought for myself was 2 pairs of sunglasses compare to my sisters they bought bags and bags of stuff. We had almost 10 boxes size luggages for our family alone, not counting our aunt and uncles. I bought for my fouryxs and WF some souvenirs. It's not that much but i really hope you guys like it!

Activities:

Other than shopping, eating, sleeping we swam almost everyday and sad to say i have grown darker, it was nice to swim and sun tanned everyday, it's very relaxing but the best part has yet to come. Thanks to our cousin husband who's a General Manager of the hotel all the accommodations at the hotel was for free. We went to the sauna, jacuzzi and had them all to our self and it's indoors so it's more private. We didn't had our swimming gears but thankfully there's our sports gears and they were allowed.

Sight-seeing:

The traffic there is very pack, even though there's road to cross there's no traffic light, so if there's vehicles passing by you just have to cross or you would die waiting because they won't stop. Of course you would think how is this possible but they would immediately stop upon someone crossing the road. I wouldn't say that the air there is clean but i did suffer from dry-skin and sore-throat and we couldn't drink the water from the tap unlike here in Singapore. It's much more safer to drink bottles water.

Overall:

It was a trip to be remember because it has been awhile since i travel with my family together. Like any normal trip there's bound to be set-backs issues but at the end of the day everyone had a great time. I would definitely thank my cousin for all this, i wouldn't see myself going to such country if she wasn't there but I'm glad i did because it's totally a whole new experience and it makes me appreciate Singapore much more.

I've upload all 880 pictures on my facebook so you could look at them there.

Seriously who buys a compact just because the box is cute????? she does!

After a long silence, this blog deserve some updates. I'm going to share with you guys on my trip to Vietnam. We went there to visit my cousin who's staying there to accompany her husband who's working at the hotel we're staying at. It was a trip to look forward too since we're traveling as a whole family and finally meeting our nieces. I'll explain more with the pictures.

We have finally reach Hanoi, Vietnam Airport!

Anika! was so happy to finally see him again!

After all that we made our way to the hotel, it took us around 45 minutes to reach the hotel as the airport was located out of town. We had to squeezed into a van but we were very grateful because if we were to take the cab the smell was unbearable and it wasn't safe as we were going to somewhere quite far.

After touring the house, we had dinner. We were starving since the plane food wasn't that nice. The food was beyond any of our imaginations,got to thank my cousin for all of this.

After dinner, we sat down and chat for awhile, play with our nieces and then it's time to sleep.

Mind you, this is only the first day and we stayed there for 2 weeks. I'll continue this on a next post!

blog's like literally dead but i'm not go let it die. i promise my next post will be about my trip so at least there's something going on. so for now toddles..... and i'm black :(